Keep going, you've got this!

‘You can’t have Tourette’s because you don’t swear’. This is something that many people have told me lately. Many of these occasions have been in public, on the bus, in college. But the thing is, I do have swearing tics, however, because of the fear of people commenting about my swearing tics, I try really hard to concentrate and suppress my swearing tics when I’m out in public. 

However, I also have sudden jerks, painful neck movements, say random phrases, scream, shout, repeat words and noises, and have leg paralysis tics. I forgot to mention, I also make animal sounds (reading story books to young children can be quite funny), all joking aside, my tics can also be inappropriate (which I hate so much, that no matter how much it hurts, I try to hold my tics in). This past month has been one of my hardest months. I decided to go back to a dance class which I used to attend on a regular basis. The first couple of sessions I really enjoyed it and it felt amazing to be back. The teacher and students were very understanding of my tics, and it was a very comfortable environment for me to be in. Yes, I couldn’t do every activity because my tics got in the way, but I wasn’t going to give up so easily. However, after the first couple of sessions, every time I did the splits, my legs would tic and I would be stuck in that position. The pain afterwards was so bad that it stopped me from going and I haven’t been back since.

 Not long after stopping going to the dance class, I started to get a tic in my back. The whole of my back had stabbing pains and moving around was a challenge. I found myself constantly putting hot water bottles on it to ease the pain, and taking hot baths. Walking was painful, sitting down was painful. The pain was so bad that one night whilst at Church, I just lay down on the floor, unable to move. The tic lasted for a couple of weeks. As I mentioned previously, I’m a Christian and attend Church several times during the week, so I decided to get prayer for my back. I walked into Church to lead worship in agony. I left Church with no pain in my back at all and I can say that I have not had any pain in my back and I have not had the back tic since then!!!

 However, not long after my back got healed, my legs began to get very exhausted and my leg paralysis tic (which usually only happens if I have dairy or experience flashing lights) began to happen more often. It then got to a point where my legs became constantly weak and the tic presented itself by causing my legs to be very shaky and wobbly, leaving me unable to walk unaided. I’ve now been on crutches for two weeks to support me. For someone who is very busy and independent, being on crutches has not been great. However, I’m still adamant to do most things by myself. Being on crutches shouldn’t hinder me. Ok, so I can’t run a marathon, or run at all currently. But, providing I’m sat down, I can still lead worship and lead a session at our youth group (which in my opinion, is more fun). 

I’m still hoping and praying that my leg tics will completely stop, but it’s all in God’s timing. One thing that I have found really useful in the past few months has been connecting with someone else who has Tourette's. It’s great to have someone who completely understands the condition and someone you can laugh about your tics with. I would recommend that if you’re reading this and have Tourette's, reach out to someone, join a support group, there’s lots of people out there who also struggle with this and it shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of, after all, it makes you who you are. Another piece of advice would be, don’t let Tourette’s stop you from achieving what you want to achieve and being who you want to be. Even if at first you struggle to do a task or an activity, keep going or try something else, don’t let your Tourette’s stop you from doing what you want to do.  

Finally, as one of my closest friends always tells me ‘Keep going, you’ve got this!’ 😊